"As a South African, Englishmen always refer to me as a ruddy colonial. this song gives me a chance to get my own back"

Oh the Englishman is noted for his safwah
Which translated means his usual bloody cold
And he loves his pipe and slippers
And the Missus and the nippers
And he's happy simply growing old

And he never says a word if he can help it
That's why people say he's always full of phlegm
He's quite unmoved by atom bombs
And rockets to the sun
He never speaks to strangers
For it simply isn't done
But when cricket starts his fury's uncontrolled
The Englishman with his usual bloody cold

Oh the Englishman could not be called romantic
His technique is not particularly good
All the French and the Italians
Chase their women round like stallions
But the Englishmans a suet pud

And the slightest demonstration of affection
He regards as being rather infridig
he syas the way the french behave is absolutely nuts
He's like to try it but he hasn't got the guts
He's scared to death the neighbours might be told
The Englishman with his usual bloody cold

Oh the Englishman has lots of little foibles
And some of them are really passed belief
For he's still of the opinion
That the folk in each dominion
All regard as the big white chief

But inspite of all his curious delusions
Underneath it all he has a heart of gold
And when the armageddon comes
And all the world is dust
And man will come to judgement
As we know the surely must
He'll be there with his umbrella neatly rolled
The Englishman with his usual bloody cold

The Englishman with his usual bloody cold













